We all long for acceptance, belonging and respect. Acceptance starts with accepting ourselves, accepting God and accepting others. We can make or break our relationships, our marriages by our perspective. What we focus on grows. If we dwell on the negative attributes in others, we will be miserable and grow bitter. Philippians 4:8 admonishes us to dwell on what is true, good, just, lovely, admirable.
Conflict is inevitable when you bring any two people into a situation, they come from different backgrounds, experiences, personalities and opinions. But the good news is conflict doesn’t have to divide…conflict can be turned into connection but it takes skill and it takes being purposeful.
Self Respect Steps
In the heat of a conflict, we need to put the brakes on….we need to insert space, walk away to process our triggers, our own defensiveness and pain. We Start with processing our own feelings. What am I feeling (name it), why do I feel this way, normalize it, comfort, asking God to speak a gentle truth to us, determine what I would do different the next time. So notice that this process is therapeutic – it brings about healing, enlightening us on our situation and personal growth. (Self Respect Steps – Greater Impact.org)
Once we deal with our hurt, allowing God to comfort us and speak that gentle truth revealing our part in the conflict (because let’s face it, it takes two, there’s always some part that is ours to own) and processing through asking God for forgiveness and learning from it….we are then able to re-engage with the spouse or friend, or co-worker and have a much better chance for success in dealing with the situation.
Conflict and Connection
We’re now in a place where we respect ourselves, respect God and are able to respectfully approach the other person. We’re not at a place where we see it’s all their fault, criticizing, shaming or blaming. We remember how much God has forgiven us and in turn we are able to extend grace. To those who have been forgiven much, are able to forgive others. (Luke 7:47)
We can choose to hold on to our hurts, hold the grudge, and demand our rights. This path will lead us to bitterness and misery, we will be in a dark place OR we can choose to be wise, letting go of offenses – accepting others as they are, and extending them grace.
Jesus said “Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” (Matthew 5:5) Sadly we may think meek means weak but far from it. We can shake a fist at heaven and say ‘Why God?’ Or we can humbly ask our Father ‘why God?’ One is rebellious demanding answers while the other is accepting God is in control. Meekness is acceptance of what God has allowed, knowing His heart is love and it is always for me.
What does acceptance look like? Towards myself processing through my feelings and extending myself grace. Towards what God has allowed in my life. Towards others with respect, extending grace quickly.
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The Top Ten from 2018
- JESUS WEPT. Why? And…it’s not the shortest verse in the Bible!
- The GATE OF THE YEAR: A Message to a Troubled Nation
- TWO WOMEN—Two Stories—Two Songs
- “LAUGHTER is the Best Medicine” Who Said That?
- The WIZARD OF OZ and God
- Following the Good, Great, and Chief SHEPHERD
- The best EULOGY to remember a father!
- ISRAEL Celebrates 70 YEARS As A Nation & the Significance for Christians
- HELLO DARKNESS, My Old Friend: The Sounds of Silence
- CHARLIE BROWN THEOLOGY
Our Ministry’s Two Favorite Articles from 2018:
Facing Terminal Cancer with Hope & Joy
When the Battle is Lost but the Victory is Won — Saying Goodbye to a Friend
- The Meaning of NUMBERS in the Bible?
- The Meaning of COLORS in the Bible?
- Is my TATTOOa sin?
- What do the 12 stones UNDER the JORDANRiver mean? (Joshua 4)
- What Does It Mean toTASTE & SEE That God Is Good? (Psalm 34)
- Where did OT Saints go at death?ABRAHAM’S BOSOM? Where was that?
- Why Does the LGBT Use God’s Rainbow For Its Flag?
- Should we call HIS NAME Jesus?Or Yahweh?Or Yeshua?
- Jesus said, I NEVER KNEW YOU. Why?
- CanJEWS go to HEAVENwithout knowing Jesus?
Other Popular Questions:
- Is Satan’s Real Name LUCIFER? Or Should We Call Him Satan?
- If BAPTIZED as an Infant, Do I Need to Be Baptized Again?
- Was Jesus CRUCIFIED on Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday?
- Why Is PRAYER Important?
- Is There a Hidden Message in Revelation 7?
- What is the Significance of the Wise Men’s THREE GIFTS?
- Is It a Sin to Drink ALCOHOL?
- What Did Jesus Say About HEAVEN (and HELL)?
- Is SUICIDE an Unforgivable Sin?